Aha! My master plan is now complete. With the master of the house now out of the way, I can finally take over her domain and use it for my own nefarious purposes.

If you thought you’d seen me before, you would be right. It is I, FG Maktaaq, mad scientist extraordinaire, extraordinary scientist madinaire, and all around scientific guy.

An unfortunate infinitely recursive taxidermy accident left me unable to speak with you for so long my dear minions (let’s just say, if you aim to preserve the carcass of a snake eating its own tail, you might never finish), but fortunately for me a recursively taxidermied mongoose arrived on the scene just in time such that the mongoose eating its own tail could have already consumed the snake which was already eating its own tail, freeing me up for more important endeavors. (I can only weep for the fate of whoever originally prepared the mongoose, as it’s unlikely he or she survived the affair.)

And what could be more important than stuffing an ouroboros?

That, dear minions, is where you come in.

World domination through tainted belly button lint?

Breeding a master race of hamster mercenaries to secretly climb the legs and gnaw off the underpants of every significant world leader?

Publicizing a lifelong vaccine for hiccups which has the insidious retrograde side-effect of instilling in the person a permanent phobia of upside down glasses of water, spoons of sugar, holding one’s breath, and most importantly, a paralysing fear of being scared by random strangers?

Ah, I can only rub my hands together in eager anticipation of what you can suggest.

And if that blogger wanders back around here, perhaps she can be the first victim.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Evil cackle!

So folks, what will it be?